Ever notice how difficult it is to communicate your emotions honestly? A.K.A = Speak from the heart?
I’m talking about the real vulnerable ones not just anger, annoyance or irritation but hurt, sadness and loneliness – the ones that go very deep.
These are the emotions that make us feel very small, innocent and open for rejection. I’m not saying that everyone has a hard time with this but I have yet to meet one person who hasn’t struggled with this challenge in their life.
Why do most of us struggle with this? We have been taught at an early age that being vulnerable is dangerous and over the years we have learned to protect ourselves from other people.
Normally I’m not a huge fan of doing something that is motivated by fear but the only reason we would need to protect ourselves is because we are afraid. Afraid of what? That is unique to each one of us. All I know is that if we cut ourselves off from truly expressing our needs and vulnerability we also cut ourselves off from getting what we actually want. Go figure.
Learning to communicate your needs honestly, authentically and without attitude is the only way to develop real self-love and authentic connections with others.
Read these five tips that will help you shift your perspective and inspire you to communicate your needs more authentically:
- Be mindful: The first step to being able to communicate your emotions honestly, authentically and without attitude is to become more self-aware. As a rule of thumb, in emotional situations try to focus more on your own reactions and feelings rather than the other person(s).
- Change your attitude: It always starts with us. You have to realize that what is coming up for you is no one else’s fault or responsibility. They are just a catalyst for what was already there in the first place. You have got to get out of the blaming and complaining mode.
- Assess if your fears are justified: Let’s face it; some people will take advantage of us if we open up to them. Assess if your fear is legitimate and if it is, ask yourself why you have them around in the first place.
- Practice opening up later: If you are not able to communicate effectively in the moment when the emotional ‘charge’ is high, try talking about it later on once you and the other party have chilled out a bit. Be sure to express how you felt in the moment and don’t use it as an opportunity to blame them for the situation
- Journal on it: Spending time reflecting on your emotions helps you to understand them better and communicate them honestly and authentically. This is an amazing tool for you to develop clarity and understand yourself better.
*Reality check* This is a lifelong process. Just try your best and stay committed to communicating honestly, authentically and without attitude. Good luck!