I have been there too and I am pretty impressed with how sneaky and effective my self-sabotaging can be. If I could make money off all the self- sabotaging I think I would be one rich and unhappy lady!
Here are the 3 most common ways we sabotage ourselves and how to minimize their negative effects:
Self-Sabotage Crime #1 – Comparing to others
This feels/ looks like a balloon deflating in the air. Comparing ourselves to others is such a poor way of living and I wouldn’t recommend it. If you are in the habit of looking around to other people to validate how much you suck then you are doing the worst self-sabotage crime of all. Comparing does not motivate us, or instill inspiration… it deflates our sense of self-worth and keeps us feeling paralyzed.
Note the distinction: Admiring or respecting someone is awesome and very inspiring! That is very different from comparison.
I remember when I started going into business for myself; I would look around at all the ‘competition’ and think “Wow, they are so awesome I could never be like them”. I basically felt like giving up before even trying… The truth is we will never know what it’s really like to be in someone else’s shoes and the grass is always greener on the other side.
It is better to compare ourselves to our own previous accomplishments and each day aim to beat those. Now that’s an inspiring way to live!
Self-Sabotage Crime #2 -Avoiding making mistakes
If you were like me you were born into a family that encouraged you to never make mistakes. I grew up being a bit of a perfectionist, combined with being type A… well you get the picture. Only very recently did I finally start accepting that making mistakes was vital for growing and learning. Come to think of it, some of my absolute best achievements were preceded by a pretty major “mistake”.
The sad thing is when you go through life trying to avoid making mistakes you end up committing the biggest crime of all: aiming too low.
If we keep our minds open to failing and making mistakes while being open to learning from them (that’s key)… then our self-sabotaging ways will never win in the end.
Self-Sabotage Crime #3 -Waiting for the perfect time
How many times have you said, “it’s not the right time yet”? The right time to launch your new business, leave a bad relationship, have that conversation, tell the truth…
I’ve learned over the years that it is never the right time. When you get to that time in the future, you will discover that it is still not the right time. This is by far one of the trickiest ways we sabotage ourselves.
Be alert because this one has derailed me and held me back plenty of times (more than I care to admit). Action is the only remedy for this ailment. Any action will do.
What are your sneaky ways of self-sabotage? Chances are there are wayyyyyyy more 🙂